There are few things that FLAMING BAG OF POO loves more than football.
Movies, however, might be one of them!
That’s why—once I was done watching the Giants beat the Packers as I had predicted (7-1 thus far in NFL playoff predictions)—we switched to the Golden Globes on NBC.
Then during commercial breaks in SportsCenter that night, I watched the Golden Globes pre-show to watch the red carpet arrivals for Kate Beckinsale, Reese Witherspoon, and Angelina Jolie.
Trust me, the Golden Globe red carpet is sooooooooo much better than watching the dudes arrive for the ESPYs.
Next week’s Sports Illustrated cover should be the return of 47-year old Elle MacPherson.
Did you see her at the Golden Globes? Looking better than she looked on any of her swimsuit edition covers.
Sports and entertainment have always been kissing cousins. Or even kissing sisters like the Zooey & Emily Deschanel.
So, it had me thinking this week…
Can the FLAMING BAG OF POO take my Annual Top 10 List of Favorite Movies from this past year—and combine them with some favorite storylines from this past NFL regular season???
You know it!!!
I’m a writer. I know screenplays. So it’s not enough to rank the films based on box office, or number of special effects, or number of existing YouTube parodies. No, I rank my films based on the question: “Which of these scripts would I feel proud to attach my name to?”
FLAMING BAG OF POO’s TOP 10 FAVORITE MOVIES WITH NFL 2011 STORYLINES!!!!
THE DESCENDANTS – George Clooney plays laid-back-masked-as-clueless Giants QB Eli Manning…trying his best to do the right thing under the pressure of an entire island full of people (Manhattan is an island, for all you losers who purposely avoid the blue geography pie in Trivial Pursuit).
BRIDESMAIDS – Massive Detroit DT Ndamukong Suh plays skinny Kristen Wiig…always a bridesmaid, never a bride…doing embarrassing things with mixed results in order to remain on top.
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GHOST PROTOCOL – Tom Cruise keeps his hair long to play Patriots QB Tom Brady in his biggest challenge: how to succeed without Ving Rhames guarding his blindside. Jeremy Renner joins to play TE Rob Gronkowski, while Simon Pegg fills the shoes of 165-pound WR Wes Welker. Never really matters who you surround Tom with.
THE HELP – Emma Stone demonstrates her versatility by playing Saints QB Drew Brees…who returns to the Deep South to inspire the once anonymous TE Jimmy Graham (played by the powerful Viola Davis). Emma even manages to beat Dallas (Bryce Dallas Howard) along the way to reaching her goal!
CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE – Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling, Julianne Moore, and Emma Stone play the entire cast of the Buffalo Bills. Looks very sexy early on—with a smart Ryan Gosling taking charge as Bills QB Ryan Fitzpatrick. Meanwhile, Emma Stone plays Ryan’s sexy play-thing Bills RB Fred Jackson—until she gets hurt. Inevitably, the once-promising story turns quite familiar…good enough to watch until the same old, lackluster ending.
THE IDES OF MARCH – George Clooney plays aging stud Rams RB Steven Jackson, while Ryan Gosling plays QB Sam Bradford…both looking ahead to March because they have nothing to do in January and February.
THE ARTIST – 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh silently creates this silent masterpiece the real old-fashioned way—solid defense and smash-mouth football. QB Alex Smith plays lead actor Jean Dujardin…who makes a comeback after he is left for dead.
50/50 – Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Jets QB Mark Sanchez…a total cancer…suffering through an out-of-shape, insufferable coach attached to his hip (Seth Rogan as Jets Coach Rex Ryan) who cannot stop running his mouth.
SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS – Robert Downey Jr. returns to play Packers MVP QB Aaron Rodgers…solving defenses with great ease. You know he was awesome before, and he promises to be awesome again in the next sequel.
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS – Justin Timberlake shows his immense range by playing nearly the entire Chicago Bears team, while underrated Mila Kunis plays Bears QB Jay Cutler. They hook up…and then she’s gone…and only then do they realize that they really can’t survive without her.
For my next post, maybe I’ll tell you my five most disappointing movies of 2011. If you don’t see it here among my favorites, then we may have opposite tastes. And if I’m 7-1 in playoff predictions thus far, you must be 1-7.