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To Be Top Gun in the NFL, Your QB Should Be More Iceman Than Maverick

top-gun-with-tom-cruise-thumbs up

On April 26, 2012, the National Football League established an elite program for the top one percent of eligible gun slingers. Its purpose was to teach the lost art of aerial combat and to insure that the handful of men who graduated onto the playing field were the best quarterbacks in the world. They succeeded, as eight of them took the reins during the season. Today, even with the season over for all but four teams, the NFL calls it the Best Rookie Class of Quarterbacks.

5 rookie quarterbacks drafted

The quarterbacks call it: TOP GUN.

top-gun-motorcycle

Yes, eight rookies arrived. And those rookies started at least one NFL game this season. In order of their draft selection: Andrew Luck (Colts), Robert Griffin III (Redskins), Ryan Tannehill (Dolphins), Brandon Weeden (Browns), Russell Wilson (Seahawks), Nick Foles (Eagles), Kirk Cousins (Redskins), and Ryan Lindley (Cardinals).

That’s enough hot shots to send to Top Gun—where only the best and the brightest compete.

Just like Maverick, Goose, Iceman, Slider, Wolfman, Hollywood, Merlin, and even the black dude who you saw dancing in his Navy whites even though you couldn’t remember him in any of the flying scenes. (If you remember that character was named Sundown, then you need to put down this blog and go get yourself a life!!!)

Before the 2012 NFL Draft, the Washington Redskins traded up in order to draft Robert Griffin III with the second pick in the first round.

Wilson vs RGIII

Instead, the Redskins GM should have traded down into the third round, where he could have selected Russell Wilson with the 75th overall pick.

Because let’s face it, Sports Fans and Movie Lovers: Even though Maverick is more exciting to watch, Iceman is not going to kill it for his teammates.

If you want to win a Super Bowl, take Russell Wilson as your Top Gun over RGIII.

Seattle Seahakws Russell Wilson is your ICEMAN.

Seattle Seahakws Russell Wilson is your ICEMAN.

Washington Redskins Robert Griffin III is your MAVERICK.

Washington Redskins Robert Griffin III is your MAVERICK.

When there’s an aerial fight, you don’t want to get yourself grounded the way that RGIII’s heroics get him into trouble.

A true hero doesn’t go down in the middle of the big climax scene. No, he manages to hang around until the very end. That’s not RGIII. His pride and ego wrote checks his knee couldn’t cash.

"Your ego is writing checks your body can't cash!"

“Your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash!”

RGIII knee injury

(Checks??? Who even writes checks anymore? That’s so Y2K?!?!)

That memorable line wouldn’t have been as memorable today: “Son, your ego is using online banking that your debit card can’t cash.”

Jester lecture

Meanwhile, let’s give credit where credit is due for Iceman.

Top Gun - Iceman Slider

Iceman was there every step of the way. Iceman was smart enough to operate within his limitations. And in the end, Iceman still defeated the MIGs.

Confidence is high.

I repeat—confidence is high.

I repeat—confidence is high.

Let’s put aside all Russell Wilson’s touchdowns. Did you see him run downfield to throw blocks to swing Marshawn Lynch—TWICE—against the Redskins? Leadership by example! You can’t teach that.

When I come back from 9-12 months of physical therapy, you are in big trouble, Iceman."

When I come back from 9-12 months of physical therapy, you are in big trouble, Iceman!!!”

Maverick learned to adapt–but only after Goose died, and that was costly. (Largely because Meg Ryan turned into a real darling, while Kelly McGillis became Amish.)

RGIII’s history of knee problems, his recent knee injury, the medical clearance controversy reported by USA Today, and really poor turf conditions at FedEx Field. It all added up to a DOA.

"The defense department regrets to inform you that your sons are out of the playoffs because they were stupid."

“The defense department regrets to inform you that your sons are out of the playoffs because they were stupid.”

Unfortunately, RGIII couldn’t adapt his style after his first knee injury. RGIII should have used his other weapons more. And that’s why the Redskins lost after RGIII went down for the next 9-12 months.

Yes, a healthy RGIII maybe gives you the best chance to do exciting aerial stunts. But if he’s grounded, he helps nobody.

"Top Gun rules of engagement are written for your safety and for that of your team. They are not flexible, nor am I. Either obey them or you are history. Is that clear, RGIII?"

“Top Gun rules of engagement are written for your safety and for that of your team. They are not flexible, nor am I. Either obey them or you are history. Is that clear, RGIII?”

Big question is, “What will that Maverick RGIII do now?” Can he still play with the same style that led his team to the playoffs?

"Let me ask you something.  If you had to go into battle, would you want him with you?" -- "I don’t know.  I just don’t know."

“Let me ask you something. If you had to go into battle, would you want him with you?” — “I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

So, should RGIII just quit on the way that he currently plays the game?

"The simple fact is you feel responsible…and you have a confidence problem. Now I'm not gonna sit here and blow sunshine up your ass. A good pilot is compelled to evaluate what's happened, so he can apply what he's learned. Up there, we gotta push it. That's our job. It's your option…"

“The simple fact is you feel responsible…and you have a confidence problem. Now I’m not gonna sit here and blow sunshine up your ass. A good pilot is compelled to evaluate what’s happened, so he can apply what he’s learned. Up there, we gotta push it. That’s our job. It’s your option…”

Yes, in the end, Russell Wilson and the Seahawks lost. But that wasn’t Iceman’s fault. Blame it on the Seahawks Department of Defense!

The moral of the story is: You don’t want a quarterback that creates all the drama.

You want a quarterback that can outlast all the drama.

Russell Wilson victory

Afterall, look what happened to Tim Tebow

Tebow is only making cameo roles during the gay volleyball scenes.

Tebow is only making cameo roles during the gay volleyball scenes.

gay volleyball scene

(1/15/13)

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About Flaming Bag of Poo

An un-safe place where sports, entertainment, and pop culture converge. Flaming Bag of Poo...A rather unique blog. Because sometimes you're on fire. (But most of the time, you just plain stink!) ------ Creator of the blogs FLAMING BAG OF POO and I SELL UNICORNS.

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