The NFL has a much bigger problem than domestic violence, substance abuse, or a new team for Los Angeles.
The league needs to teach its players to stop behaving like expensive idiots.
Yes, Chicago Bears Lamarr Houston, we got you on video.
Nobody on “Dancing With The Stars” is going to copy what will now always be known as your signature move. Let’s call it the “Ow, My ACL” (only because I think there is already a dance move called “The Knucklehead”).
Emmitt Smith, Hines Ward, Donald Driver, and Jacoby Jones are probably tossing in their DTWS graves right now.
Flaming Bag of Poo doesn’t think the “Ow, My ACL” is going to catch on like the Super Bowl Shuffle. http://vimeo.com/74972893
Sure, Lamarr, you limped into Halas Hall on Monday to apologize in person to the Chicago Bears management. But a bigger man would have limped in and voided the remaining four years on your five-year $35 million contract. Now, you get to sit back the rest of the season and collect your millions. I sure would like to hear Brandon Marshall’s latest locker room speech after that one.
Meanwhile, the bigger knuckleheads might be the NFL itself. Why are you allowing your stars to get injured doing these bonehead celebration dances? Has the NFL learned nothing from MLB’s mistakes (Los Angeles Angels Kendry Morales injury in 2010 during his walk-off home run celebration ruined his career and the Angels championship hopes)?
Every summer following the NFL Draft, the NFL hosts the NFL Rookie Symposium. Upon joining the league, rookie players are taught NFL history, health and safety, workplace conduct and professional behavior through workshops and lectures, some featuring former and current players. The NFL should drag Lamarr Houston and Detroit Lions linebacker Stephen Tulloch onto center stage and show their videos celebrating moments before they suffered a season-ending injury. Showcase them like freak performers at a carnival.
But if the NFL owners really wanted to teach these players that the team has invested millions of dollars to stay healthy and win championships, then there should be a clause added to every player contract that says: IF YOU INJURE YOURSELF WHILE CELEBRATING ON THE FIELD, YOU MUST FORFEIT ANY SALARY PREVIOUSLY EARNED–AND VOID THE REMAINING CONTRACT–SO YOUR TEAM HAS NOT WASTED VALUABLE MONEY SO THAT YOU CAN RELAX THESE NEXT FEW MONTHS ON YOUR COUCH.