The Death of Darth Vader. And the Death of the AFC

The war lord of the Evil Empire died today.

Your first response is probably, “Didn’t Al Davis pass away three months ago?”

Al Davis isn’t really dead. He’s really in some cryogenic deep freeze (like Han Solo at the end of “The Empire Strikes Back”). The Raiders will rescue Al from this deep freeze whenever they make the Super Bowl again. Probably the same year that Star Wars VII gets released.

Sadly, Olympic fencer and movie sword master, Bob Anderson, died today.

“Who the heck is Bob Anderson?” you ask.

Anderson, who has died at age 89, donned Darth Vader’s black helmet and fought light saber battles in two of the three original “Star Wars” films, “The Empire Strikes Back” and “Return of the Jedi.”

What? You thought James Earl Jones could wield a light saber?

It may have been James Earl Jones’ voice and David Prowse’s height, but it was Bob Anderson’s expert fencing that made Darth Vader’s fight scenes…sexy.

Too bad the Raiderettes can’t pay their respect to Bob Anderson in costume this weekend.

Nobody wants to see NFL cheerleaders dressed like black condoms.

Raiderettes look better as Stormtroopers, than Darth Vaders…

With or without the Raiders in the playoffs, you know the AFC will lose to the Rebel Alliance (NFC). Seriously, on a neutral site, you’d take any of the six NFC playoff teams over 5 of the 6 AFC playoff teams.

The Patriots defense looks as formidable as the Evil Empire’s Imperial Officers.

The Patriots' Inside Linebackers

The Ravens’ offense depends on a quarterback as mobile as Chewbacca.

The Texans don’t have anyone to pilot the Millenium Falcon.

The Steelers are missing their Lando Calrissian running back, who suffered a torn ACL last week.

The Broncos have a Stormtrooper for a quarterback; looks good in the uniform, but he never hits anything that he aims at.

The Bengals look about as dangerous as the Ewoks.

The photon torpedo hit the exhaust port. The AFC Death Star just hasn’t exploded yet until the Super Bowl.